Being the oldest between the two of us is great, I'm naturally competitive and being number one makes me happy. My independent sister just wants to do her things extremely well, which she does.
I have come to realize that winning in everything is not healthy or good, in fact according to Franklin D. Roosevelt "Competition has been shown to be useful up to a certain point and no further, but cooperation, which is the thing we must strive for today, begins where competition leaves off."
With siblings it is always good to check the motives of competition/ rivalry. Is it an isolated occurrence or is it a long term form of abuse; to gain dominance over the other sibling and cause embarrassment and/ or an imbalance of power. An imbalance of power or to dominate to the point where we step over the right or boundaries of our sibling is not good. For example: telling your sibling what to do constantly is often perceived as an attempt to dominate and is better dealt with by asking questions or making suggestions, giving choice to your sibling, such as "Do you want to help clean the fridge or the lounge?". In this manner the sibling has a choice and does not feel dominated and the tasks get done.
By refusing to typecast or compare as a sibling this also helps to reduce tension. An example would be: I have often felt that my twinling sister is a better planner. The problem with this is that although this is a fact it does not mean that I can't grow in this area and it masks other strengths that i have and my sibling doesn't.
With our siblings or any relationship, we need to realize one very important thing we are here to serve and help them, not make them our slaves. We are here to encourage and up lift them not to break them down. It is proven time and time again that people flourish when they are appreciated and feel valued.
This is our very special responsibility to fulfill as siblings.
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