Healthy dependency?

You all seemed to love our Portugal supporting pictures
Heres another one from 2010 world cup in SA.
Photography credit: Natalina Alves

Growing up with a twinling and doing most things together can create dependency; which can be a good or bad. Bad in the sense that your identity as a person almost becomes one and you are scared to do things on your own.

But on the flip side you get things done faster, more efficient  and there are two minds giving perspective to a matter; which is good because there is more than one way to look at a situation.  Here is something our Mamacita - a life coach and someone who holds a degree in business leadership and management said:

Mama: In a world of interdependence, self-reliance, self-gratification and being told that success is based on what YOU make it to be. Results show that in unity, teams get better exponential growth and impact more; this means that individual work done together causes more than just double growth. In other words  1+1=2 which is normal growth. 1 persons work  plus another person’s work, working together can cause 4x or more growth (exponential growth). Being a twin means that you are uniquely designed with individual strengths, abilities, leadership types etc. however you also have the gift of being able to join your efforts with another human being who knows you better than anyone else and together as twins you can achieve much more than just by yourself. Especially since twins know each other extremely well.

Read the full post here

So our question seems to be: Well, how can you do that in a healthy way, where you are not overly dependent on your twin?

Our recent discovery which seemed to hit us like a lighting bolt was: It is in fact OK to do things separate to your twinling. You do not have to  do and like the same things because you are not the same. Not everything you do needs to be done together and not everything you do needs to be done the same or in the same method.

We have been asked "Isn't your life better when your not with your sister?" We just about cry every time. Our lives are so enriched because we have a each other. Life is peachy without each other but we know our lives are abundant WITH each other and even more so when we can do things separately and then come freely together and share our accomplishments and incredibly embarrassing mistakes. 

To find the balance between healthy and not so healthy is a personal journey because we all function differently and our lives are different. All the same, these are small practical tips for doing that:

-Choose not to compare your lives. This is actually a choice, you will need to remind yourself occasionally but it is still a choice until it becomes a life style.
-Agree to disagree. Because you are different and you wont always have the same world view, sometimes to agree to disagree keeps you in unity which should always be your goal.
-Develop your own food taste. Go out and explore different foods together or alone but go and see what you like.
-Dress differently. See what you like for your personality and not theirs, if you like bold colours go for it (There is moderation in everything though).
-Meet new people. Socialize with others, I have a thought that sometimes you get to know yourself better when you mingle, (this is obviously not the case for everybody or situation, so find what works for you.) But you always learn something new from people.

What are some of your tips?